Mike is busy squaring some things away on the magazine before his trip to ASI Dallas. As he actually does some work for a change, enjoy this do-list about his upcoming trip that we cribbed from his notebook without his knowledge.
MIKE’s ASI DALLAS TO-DO LIST 2/14/11
– Pick up some cool Texas-y belt buckles, like one with a bull skull design or a plate of ribs that loosely resembles John Wayne.
– Replace neurotic tri-state ramble with relaxed, understated drawl
– Think up strange and terrifying myths to tell southerners about growing up in New Jersey, like how the state is actually more densely populated than India or everyone there is always chewing gum as loudly as possible, with an open mouth as possible.
– Figure out if you’re going to grab any interviews for the golf article you’re writing for March.
– Brush up on your golf knowledge so you can convincingly lie about having played the sport. Specifically, figure out what you’re supposed to hit with the golf racket and or how long you have to stay in the penalty box for crowding the goal zone.
– Assemble traditional flight survival kit, which includes a stack of Mad Magazines, those fruit Mentos you only find at airport newsstands and that audio history of Texas you’ve heard so much about. (Recommended that you start with episode six, “Big Hats and Sports Teams that are typically a disappointment.”)
Until next week!
Monday Mike Fact: Mike is a vegetarian, which makes Dallas exciting since there’s so much good food for him to eat, such as the city’s famous house salads and complimentary buttered rolls.
